This is has been a year of change for the Pratt family.  The biggest change is that I resigned from my position @ the VA in March.  The Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia has won on that aspect.  I just cannot do a full time job any more.  I put up a good fight. I struggled 7 years before letting go of my pride and realizing that I was just making myself worse.  It has been a major adjustment.  It's strange not getting up every morning and going to work. Plus, I really miss the paycheck. Thankfully, I did get approved for disability but it's no where near what I was earning while working. Therefore, Bob has had to take on a 2nd job to make ends meet. It has been rough but God has brought us thru every moment. This "test", "trial" or "whatever" this is has increased my faith. I have learned to trust Him more and more each day as I see Him provide for Bob and I through miraculous means.  I have started a part time "job" however.   It is very simple.  It is called mystery shopping.  I go to restaurants, banks, bowling alleys, fast food chains, and even the post office and act like a regular customer but I am observing their customer service, cleanliness, and attitude.  I submit my report on-line.  If I do it to their satisfaction, they pay me for it and will reimburse most expenses.  It not a lucrative job, but it gets me out of the house and I enjoy it.
     I believe 2011 is going to be a great year for my husband and I.  I believe that God is doing a work that will manifest itself soon.  I will be 40 in 2011.  I am convinced that my 40's are going to be a great decade for me.  I pray that God will bless you and your family in 2011.  I pray that you will grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. That your soul will prosper and abound in God's love.  Thank you for your friendship and your love.  I cherish each of you whether I see you daily or just email you occasionally. I cherish you whether I have know you for years or if we have just met. I cherish you whether we are friends in real life or friends via Facebook.

Happy New Year and God Bless You All
    

     Grief...... that is what I have been thinking about the last few days... Psychologists have coined 5 stages of grief when dealing with a loss.......They are Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining(usually w/ God) and Acceptance. Most of us think of the death of a person when we hear the word grief, but what about other losses.....The loss of a marriage or serious relationship, a beloved pet, a job or even one's health.....
     I have been stuck in my grief while trying to deal with the loss of my health....For the 1st few years, I was in denial....I did not tell many people that I was ill.....For those that don't know, in 2004 I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome....I tried to hide it and tried to be as"normal" as I could be. I would still do things but then would need days to recoup.,,,I tried to deny the fact that I was sick...Then I met my husband and all that changed....He began to tell people when I needed assistance and such....It took him some time but he is understanding and very supportive....OK, so I have made it out of denial, esp since I can no longer work due to my disability....Now, I fluctuate b/w anger and depression.....It seems like I can not get out of those two stages....AND, its been 7 years and several health issues later... How does one get thru these stages when it appears to be no change.... I have nothing to barter with God with....I was in ministry when I developed CFS and had to resign...Sometimes, I feel like acceptance is saying that God will not heal me and yet I know He is capable but strongly sense healing is not His will at this time.....I don't want to accept this illness and just give up, yet fighting every moment is frustrating.....I try to remain faithful, yet being unable to do simple tasks like walking in the mall  or standing in line w/o pain gets overwhelming at times.....I guess the worse part is when family and friends criticize what you cannot do and label me as lazy....Please don't get me wrong.....I do have moments of joy and peace and happiness.....What I covet the most is your prayers.....AND, your understanding.....OK,  I will stop venting now....One of these days, I will get through these 5 stages of grief even if it takes me years......LOL

Did something different today....I went to a POLO match....I won a free pass to the match at Hyde Park Farm  in Ravenal... It was interesting.   The match was an exhibition game to support Debi's kids and the Salvation Army Angel Tree.  I was not sure what to expect, but it was strangely similar to that scene in "Pretty Woman".. Some of the girls were dressed to the hilt... I mean they were tromping around in the dirt in heels and shorty dresses... My friend, Paula, and I were sensible.  We wore pants and tennis shoes.  It was definitely a social scene.  I mean some people were more in to drinking their champagne and talking rather than watching....To me, it was something like hockey...I was concerned about the safety of the horses but the jockeys and referee watch out for that. Actually after 2 Chukkers(a period or inning), they trade out and get a different horse.  

They have 7 Chukkers in regulation play.. Plus they have a 3 minute rest between Chukkers and an halftime . So they give the horses plenty of rest.  Each Chukker is 15 minutes.

The weather was beautiful. Sun was out and there was a nice breeze. In fact, Paula and I were in the shade but somehow I got some sun on my face. Before the match, a band was playing. It was an awesome day.  We actually got to "stomp the divots" like they did in "Pretty Woman"

This is me "stomping the divots".   It was a very tiring but relaxing day.  We took our chairs out there and packed a cooler and just kicked back...Although it was tiring physically for me, it was SO GOOD to get out of the house for a bit..I tried to get some more pictures of the horses but they were running too fast.

     Once again I am faced with the reality of my limitations.  It is a hard reality to face.   As  many of you know, I suffer from both Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia, along with many other issues.  Due to the illnesses, my life has changed.  I am no longer the girl who is athletic or the girl that is on the go. I am confined in this worn body every day and it is not fun.  I have had to let go of many things due to the complications of my illness, among them the energy to minster regularly.  It is hard to let go of every thing that you have work so hard to attain.  I have often asked God "WHY?".   Then I remember a saying a wise friend shared with me when faced with her own struggles: "Why not me!!".  What she meant by that is who are we that we should escape struggle.  No one is immune to trouble.  However, to live with this constantly with no end in sight is often a hard pill to swallow. 
     I may not understand why I was chosen to walk this particular path but I must continue to trust God.   I do not know why God has chosen NOT to heal me, yet, but I must continue to trust God.  I do not know what my future entails, but I must continue to trust God.  In all of my struggles, esp those of the last 2 years, God has been with me in ways that have amazed me.  I have seen His hand at work in my life despite my physical hardships.
      Will God heal me? Will my energy ever return? Will I ever be able to have children? Will I have the energy for children? Will I ever be able to return to work? Will I ever be able to walk more than a few steps without being in pain?  Only God knows the answer to these questions and I must trust in HIM. AND I WILL TRUST IN HIM!!!!

I cannot believe that tomorrow will be a year that my doggie, Dove died.... I miss her so much. Its amazes me how we can get so attached to these small creatures. Dove was like my child. She was like a person. I mean, she had her own personality. She was funny!! Dove  would grab a toy start to walk to you and then run... Or, if you called her, sometimes she would turn her head opposite of you like "I'm not looking at you" but you'd see her eyes look to see if you were still looking at her.. I have never met a dog with such a gentle and sweet disposition.  Dove would walk away from conflict, if she could, rather then fight. However, I have seen her defend herself when pushed in a corner. BOY!!! I miss her so... She was a great dog....I still have dreams about her.  There will never be another dog like my Dove...I LOVE YOU DOVE AND I ALWAYS WILL.....You will always be in my heart.....

Why is it that when I am away from the computer, I can "blog" great posts in my head, however when I get to the computer, it seems to all go away...I feel like I have so much to share, but come up blank when I get to my laptop.  Does any one wlse have this problem????

The beginning of this week was exciting.... I found a skink in my house.  I don't know why but it freaked me out.  At first, I thought I must be daydreaming. BUT,  later I saw "her" under the bedroom window.   Bob tried to make a box with gorilla tape to capture it but that did not work... Well to say the least, I DID NOT sleep in the bedroom that night.  We closed the door and stuffed newspaper under the crack of the door hoping that it would not venture out and roam.  I finally had to take an Ativan to be able to go to sleep.  I WAS freaked beyond belief, and of course my hubby was amused by my behavior.  So, we ended up getting a mouse glue trap and that was successful.  I am sorry that it had to die but I had no other choice.... Here is my "Lizzy" after capture

In mid July, Bob and I went to my family reunion.... The Burgess Family Reunion.... It has been a part of my life for the last... um...20+ years.  I am so proud to be a "Burgess".  My great grandma was a godly women.   She was able to do anything(from what I have been told)... She sewed quilts and sold them for $.25 to help build what is know called the family church.  She had 17 children in which my grandma was number 3.  I never new my Great grandma, she died in '65 and I didn't arrive on the scene until '71.  However, we I get to Heaven, I will meet her.  Here is a photo of the 5 remaining "sisters"

The Family reunion is a 3 day event.  Friday, we have a cook out with hot dogs, hamburgers, chips, baked beans, cookies, etc.  Most of us are talking and chatting with those we haven't seen since the last reunion.  Some BINGO is played. Both Bob and I won a game.  While talking and catching up, some of the family sings some ole timey hymns. We have a strong Christian heritage.

Saturday, our dinner was catered.  YUM YUM!! Many played volleyball while some played horseshoes.  Then we all gathered at played "Minute to Win It"... Fun game.  Here is a pic of my cousin bobbing for apples.... Too cute....

Then on Sunday we go to the family church for service.  Usually, one of the cousins preach and sing.....It is am awesome weekend....

The reunion happens every 2 years.  Most of the time in VA.   I have loads of pics on my facebook account if you'd like to see all the happenings.

Until next time,

Keenalynn

I BELIEVE......

In happily every after.........in forever.........in Love.......a good book during a rainy day..........in friendship.....in family.......in caffeine...........in marriage between one man and one woman......that honesty is the best policy.........in lazy Saturdays mornings....that laughter is good for the soul....in music.....in children.....in naps....in comfort food.....


In the Bible.....in ONE GOD..... in Jesus Christ....in the manifestation of the Holy Spirit... in laying on of hands...in praying in tongues.... in healing...in prophesy.....in living holy....in John 3:16.....in God's forgiveness.... in His Judgement.....in His Mercy... that Jesus is God.....that Jesus died on the cross for my sins....that He was dead for 3 days.....that He rose from the dead....that Jesus is alive and is sitting on the right hand of God.....that Jesus is returning for His children.....



WHAT DO YOU BELEIVE????????

The Bride Collector by Ted Dekker

I finished this one yesterday.

Summary:

A serial killer is killing beautiful women whom he thinks are chosen by God has His favorites; as His Brides. However, he does not use brutal force because he does not want to destroy their beauty. So he drugs them with a sedative and convinces them to die for the cause. He then numbs their feet with Novocaine and drills holes in their feet to drain their blood. He then glues them to the wall has a angel and applies makeup.

The killer leaves a note for the cops and they link him to a mental group home.   Some of its patients begin to help the detectives track down the killer.

Overall, It is a good book.  However, due to the violent killings, I would recommend it for adults only.

One of the main themes of the book is the truth of God's love to man kind. Not just that He loves us, but that each of us is His favorite and that God loves us unconditionally. However, the killer takes this "love" to the extreme.  He wonders that if we(the beautiful women) love God, why then are they unwilling to die so that they can be with Him.

Other theme of The Bride Collector is mental illness.  The author brings to question: Is mental illness a curse or is it a blessing in disguise.   Do people that suffer from "mental illnesses" really have talents that the rest of us cannot tap into?

If you choose to read the Bride Collector, please share your comments with me.  I'd love to him them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.....................

Well, I had a great birthday... First of all, my day started @ Chick-Fil-A.  That is my favorite fast food.. I had my normal chicken, egg and cheese biscuit meal.... YUM!!! YUM!!!!

Then we did a few errands.....We went to the bank, post office and such.....

Then I we went to the bowling alley and played some free games.... Then while at the alley I played my favorite arcade game-Ms, Pac-Man....What a classic!!!   I bowled a whooping 78 and 96...Yeah me!!!

After a busy morning, I went home and took a nap while my husband did some more errands.....

Later that evening, Bob, I and a few friends went to dinner at a reasturant named Yokoso's.  It is Japenease and they cook dinner on a grill right in front of you.. They also make the birthday party do a "chicken dance". 

I had an enjoyable day with family and friends from early morning until evening...Checkout my facebook account and I have ALL pictures posted there...

I know that I had made a goal to "blog" every week, but somehow that has not panned out...Not really much going on. I went bowling with my husband and did a whopping 71 and 58...

I also, got my hair cut.. I had about 5 inches taken off and I love it.....

That one pic is kinda fuzzy but it shows the length.......

My hubby has grwon a goat-tee....

I think he looks adorable.....

We are just living day by day with the grace of God... Each day God shows His amazing LOVE for us.....I thank God every day for my life.. He has blessed me with a wonderful husband...

Blogger has been acting funny today...... I hope that it fixes itself soon.... I like things to be right...

"Normal Day"

">Wow...The last two days have been somewhat "normal" days for me... Friday night my husband and I did our Valentine's since he has to work on Sunday. First, he gave me my surprise..... It is black and white diamonds.... I love it.. It was a complete shock... Then after dinner at Yokoso's, it started snowing...... Bob and I felt like little kids. Then Saturday morning, Bob cooked me breakfast while I snapped more pics of the snow......

Played in the snow with some of the neighborhood kids, talked on the phone, and then later went to church.....

The reason why it's "Normal" is because I did these activities and do not feel fatigued like I normally feel... Am I just having a good week, or am I really getting better. It was so nice to act and feel like a human being again.. Most weekends I just sit on the couch and watch TV, play on the computer, or sleep... I actually tried napping before church and could not do it....I Praise God for this weekend.....It has been a good one.....