My Life with CFS

I was active as a child, teen and young adult.  I played softball, did dance, performed in school plays, and was very active in church.  As a young adult, i volunteered at my church working with teens.  I have co-directed VBS, organised church wide events, and have create a children's programs. I have supervised lock ins, car washes, and youth retreats.   I did this while working full time, going to school part time, and even working 2 jobs. So to say the least, I have always been a person who stayed busy with life and I loved every minute of it.   Then in 2003 I developed an upper respiratory infection and was out of work for a week.  Later in that week, I received a phone call that a family member was ill and may not make it through the weekend.   Despite being sick, my mother and I drove 12 hours to be with family.  We stayed at the hospital for several more hours.  Thus, we were without sleep for like 36 hours straight.  When I finally got to bed, I literally felt something "switch" in my body.  I cannot explain it fully but I did feel something odd.  I told myself that I was going to pay for this.  I never knew it would be for a life time.  After returning home( the family member survived and was able to go home...she died 6 months later), I continued to be sick.  I had lost all energy.  I keep getting reoccurring infections and my energy level was at an all time low.  My doctor performed all types of test to see why I was continually getting infections.   Every test came back negative.   Finally,  after a year of reoccurring infections and lack of energy, the dr said that I may have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  At first I thought YES I have an answer, but that was short lived when I was told there was NO treatment for this.  My dr prescribed an anti-depressant that was supposed to help with fatigue and B-12 shots to help as well. They helped for awhile but I never felt like I had the energy that I should.  I did everything I could to get better.  I took medicines, rested, had the pastor lay hands on me but all to no avail.  In 2005 I decided to resign my position in the church.  I could no  longer be dependable to assist with the youth.  It was a hard decision but I did not have the energy to teach and participate in all the activities that we provided to the children.  After resigning my position, I quit attending church all together.  It was not that I no longer trusted God.  It was that I had no energy to get ready in the mornings.  In 2008 I was hospitalized due to severe high blood pressure.  Due to the trauma of that week, I developed Fibromyalgia.  It mainly affected my legs.  I cannot stand or walk long distances without feeling weak or hurting.  It took its toll on my job and in March of 2010 I had to resign from my job.  I am now on disability.   It has been a hard road but I have been blessed with a supportive and awesome husband that tries so hard to make life easier for me.
My days are less active than in my younger days.  I have to pace myself to keep from crashing.  Most days are spent on the couch.  However, I am trying to regain some strength.  I am trying to live healthier.  I am trying to make the most out this situation.  It has definitely brought me closer to God. I have learned to trust Him more.  I miss my old body.  I miss my active days.  I am looking for ways to make me feel better. I keep trusting and believing that God has a purpose for allowing me to go through this.