I was active as a child, teen and young adult. I played softball, did dance, performed in school plays, and was very active in church. As a young adult, i volunteered at my church working with teens. I have co-directed VBS, organised church wide events, and have create a children's programs. I have supervised lock ins, car washes, and youth retreats. I did this while working full time, going to school part time, and even working 2 jobs. So to say the least, I have always been a person who stayed busy with life and I loved every minute of it. Then in 2003 I developed an upper respiratory infection and was out of work for a week. Later in that week, I received a phone call that a family member was ill and may not make it through the weekend. Despite being sick, my mother and I drove 12 hours to be with family. We stayed at the hospital for several more hours. Thus, we were without sleep for like 36 hours straight. When I finally got to bed, I literally felt something "switch" in my body. I cannot explain it fully but I did feel something odd. I told myself that I was going to pay for this. I never knew it would be for a life time. After returning home( the family member survived and was able to go home...she died 6 months later), I continued to be sick. I had lost all energy. I keep getting reoccurring infections and my energy level was at an all time low. My doctor performed all types of test to see why I was continually getting infections. Every test came back negative. Finally, after a year of reoccurring infections and lack of energy, the dr said that I may have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. At first I thought YES I have an answer, but that was short lived when I was told there was NO treatment for this. My dr prescribed an anti-depressant that was supposed to help with fatigue and B-12 shots to help as well. They helped for awhile but I never felt like I had the energy that I should. I did everything I could to get better. I took medicines, rested, had the pastor lay hands on me but all to no avail. In 2005 I decided to resign my position in the church. I could no longer be dependable to assist with the youth. It was a hard decision but I did not have the energy to teach and participate in all the activities that we provided to the children. After resigning my position, I quit attending church all together. It was not that I no longer trusted God. It was that I had no energy to get ready in the mornings. In 2008 I was hospitalized due to severe high blood pressure. Due to the trauma of that week, I developed Fibromyalgia. It mainly affected my legs. I cannot stand or walk long distances without feeling weak or hurting. It took its toll on my job and in March of 2010 I had to resign from my job. I am now on disability. It has been a hard road but I have been blessed with a supportive and awesome husband that tries so hard to make life easier for me.
My days are less active than in my younger days. I have to pace myself to keep from crashing. Most days are spent on the couch. However, I am trying to regain some strength. I am trying to live healthier. I am trying to make the most out this situation. It has definitely brought me closer to God. I have learned to trust Him more. I miss my old body. I miss my active days. I am looking for ways to make me feel better. I keep trusting and believing that God has a purpose for allowing me to go through this.
