Friday, April 15, 2011

M is for Marriage.......

     MARRIAGE. What does that word bring to mind when you say or read it? For me it means happiness. You see, I have a wonderful marriage.  I have a husband that loves me unconditionally. That's the way it's supposed to be.  I am an old-fashion kinda gal. I believe that marriage is to be between one man and one women and it is to be forever.  I do not judge those that have been married several times(I'm my husbands 3rd wife) or those that are divorced because I know that things happen.  However, I believe that if people took their vows and marriage more seriously, America would have a lower incidence of divorce and break up.  The problem from my perspective is that people forget what commitment means.  That is the key to any marriage.  I made a commitment to my husband and I will keep that to the best of my ability.  Commitment last thru anger, hurt, disappointment and desire.  I commit to love my husband.  To commit to someone is an aggressive verb. I make it happen. I can not leave it to its own. I have to work at it. Even when I don't like my husbands behavior or attitude,   I stand by my commitment.
     Another key to marriage is friendship.  My husband and I are best friends.  We talk about every thing and listen to one other without judgement or condemnation. We laugh together, we joke together and we support one another.  We have been married for 4 1/2 yrs but I could not imagine my life with out him nor how I survived the 35 yrs before him. I am a better women because of my husband.  He gives me such love and thoughtfulness that I am just amazed at times. Now before you start to wonder let me explain something right now.  MY HUSBAND IS NOT PERFECT!!!!! Although I sometimes talk like he is, he does have his faults.
     Thats' another key in my relationship with my husband. I concentrate on the positive behavior that my husband demonstrates not the faulty behavior. God has taught me that.  Every time I would complain to God that Bob did something "wrong", God would rebuke me for similar behavior.  God has taught me to focus on what Bob does right not on what he does that I don't like.  Just like people every marriage has its weaknesses and its strengths.  The goal is to work on those weaknesses without judgement and revel in your strengths.
     The last thing I like to mention is that a marriage is  like a triangle with GOD being the top point and each partner is the bottom points.  As each partner(point) grows closer to the top of the triangle-God, they get closer to one another.   The closer each spouse is to God, the closer we grow together.  God MUST be the center of every successful marriage.

What doe you feel to be a key to marriage? I would love feedback and comments!!


Bluestocking Mum said...

What a wonderful, heartfelt post.

I think you hit the nail right on the head, one of the keys is friendship. It doesn't matter how much you love someone; sometimes love is not enough.

My husband and I have been together for 22 years and some of that has been challenging and stressful...and yes,...difficult. It is our strong bond and friendship that have kept us together,, through the good and bad times


Dawn M. Hamsher said...

Keena, you've said it perfectly. We are going on 16 years and it is a commitment. I highly recommend reading The Five Love Languages! Great book to help people learn and speak their spouses love language (because they are different)!

~Rasz~ said...

Great post Keena. You are blessed to have a wonderful marriage and attitude! I think another key ingredient, added to the ones in your post, would be respect. I also agree with Dawn on the book The Five Love Languages. Amazing how the communication breakdowns can be erased with learning proper and appropriate communications. Men and women do speak a different language.

anthony stemke said...

A very poignant article. We agree with all you said.
The key('s) are many. One thing that stands out for us is that we do everything together.

Susan Kane said...

Good article. We have been married for 38.5 years, and still keep interested in each other. We have Christ as the foundation of our home and marriage.
You asked good questions about writing. I suggest checking into community college classes, or watching for special seminars through the universities. But, mainly, write. Just write.
p.s. I would suggest that your script font should not be bright pink, and go for a traditional font and size. Pink is hard on the eyes, if the post is long.
I will be following you!